I thought I would feel better if I blogged. Since Dad passed - our financial situation has taken a dive - not to mention that it is Christmas - everyone smiling - shopping - and here I am - no money to shop - and no joy inside me to smile. To say it has been tough is the understatement of the year. I have no sadness - yet I have no grief as well. I was told that the sadness chokes out the joy. I guess that is true. I don't even think I will send out Christmas cards this year - my heart is totally not in it - only put up the tree for Nic. I am waiting patiently for a glimmer of hope - to bring back the joy - it is taking way too long. Where are you Christmas??
